wedding planning

Your wedding vows are the heart of your wedding, the most important and partnership-solidifying element of your wedding ceremony.  Here at our New Jersey wedding venue and at our garden weddings, we’ve heard some beautiful, sentimental wedding vows, and we’ve laughed along with the bride, groom and their guests at that little touch of humor that reflects the couple’s fun-loving partnership.

Great wedding vows capture your promises to one another, and tell all of your guests what you love about one another. Writing your own vows can be a daunting task, so use our top tips here to guide you:

1. Decide if you’ll write one set of wedding vows that you’ll both repeat to one another, or if you’ll each write your own vows privately, ‘surprising’ one another with your heartfelt words during the ceremony.

2. Take some time together to discuss what the core values of your relationship are — honesty, support, patience, kindness, loyalty, friendship – and use those keywords to create your promises to one another, as in “I promise to spend every day supporting your wishes, goals and dreams.”

3. Use your own voice in your wedding vows. How do you speak? Are you naturally humorous? If so, then add some of your personality to your vows. It’s not you if the words you choose sound like someone else wrote them, or are too formal, or too serious.

4. Is there a quote, scripture, poem or psalm that has always been central to your relationship? If so, build your vows around that theme and grow it from there.

5. See the future. Your relationship will take you places you cannot even imagine, and the point of professing wedding vows to one another is to face the future together, whatever it might bring. Your vows are promises to be faithful and to enrich each other’s lives not just now, but always.

6. Build from traditional wedding vow wording. If you love the traditional ‘love, honor and cherish’ vows, by all means include them. Many of our New Jersey brides and grooms start their vows with the traditional vows script, then add their own personalized ‘second half’ with their additional promises or a touch of humor.

7. Write a first draft, not censoring yourself. Just write and write, not worrying about length, and then you can edit your script down from there, keeping the ‘gold’ of your vow wording and cutting away what’s excess.

8. Read your vows out loud as you go. That’s the only way to tell if your vow wording sounds natural in your own voice.

9. Don’t be afraid of tears. Heartfelt, sentimental promises, plus the deep love you feel for your partner, are sure to get you misty-eyed, and that’s a very special part of a wedding ceremony. So don’t put pressure on yourself not to cry.

10. Write out your vows. You don’t have to memorize them. Print them out in full on an index card, and your officiant can lead you through them, or you can read them right off the page as so many other brides and grooms have done to get their wedding vows just right.

If there’s something you wish to express that’s not a natural fit for your wedding vows, include that private sentiment in a letter or card you send to your partner on the morning of the wedding.

Best,

Michael Mahle, Director of Communications, pleasantdale Chsteau

While some wedding websites advise choosing child attendants who are no younger than six years old, we know that your adored nieces and nephews may be younger than that, and you very much want them to be your flower girls and ringbearers. Here at our wedding banquet hall and wedding gardens, we’ve seen children as young as two perform quite well as child attendants, and the key is smart preparations for the little ones at the wedding rehearsal.

Our wedding staff, as well as the top wedding coordinators and special event experts in the New Jersey region, has helped many brides and grooms during their wedding rehearsals, offering our expertise in helping flower girls and ringbearers prepare for their big moment at the wedding. The key, we’ve found, is making sure kids are comfortable, know what to expect, and know what they might earn by behaving well.

Here are some top tips for helping kids at your wedding rehearsal, improving your odds of a tantrum-free day:

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• Be sure that child attendants will be comfortable in their wedding day clothing. Itchy lace collars and shirt tags that poke, too-tight bow ties and other wardrobe issues are the #1 cause of kids’ acting badly at weddings. So be sure the kids’ dresses and tuxes have been checked and adjusted to allow for the little ones’ comfort.
• Be sure that kids have eaten before the wedding, and that they’ve had plenty of water to drink. Hunger and thirst are also top causes of kids’ misbehavior. So practice the same Musts for the rehearsal.
• Tell kids what they’ll see when they walk down the aisle. A practice walk down empty rows is very different than the people-filled rows, flashbulbs, flowers and other distractions. From the youngest kids to the teens, spell out the things they’re likely to see as they walk down the aisle.
• For small children, have a treat waiting for them at the end of the aisle. A grandparent might be holding a big, colorful lollipop or a (silent) toy that they can have when they reach the end of the aisle.
• Allow kids to sit down during the ceremony. This big trend provides for kids’ comfort, they can sit with parents who can shush them if needed, and kids won’t be tempted to wander around, fidget or panic in the face of so many people looking at them.
• Let kids practice their walks down the aisle a few times, and test out who they’re most comfortable walking with. There’s no rule saying the flowergirl has to walk alone. If she’s happiest walking with the maid of honor, that adjustment may be made.
• If children are frightened, talk with them privately to ask what they’re concerned about. A child is more likely to open up about her shoes being slippery on the aisle runner than she might be with a dozen strangers looking at her.
• Prepare children for what happens after the ceremony, they’ll pose for photos, then be introduced into the room at the reception, dance and sit with the other kids. When children know what to expect, they don’t act out as much.

Keep these tips in mind, and your child attendants will have more fun, be happier and more comfortable and thus be a wonderful part of your wedding day.

Best,

Michael Mahle, Director of Communications, pleasantdale Château

Wedding guest books have gotten so beautiful! Just a few years ago, it seemed like most brides and grooms bought standard, white or ivory, lined guest books from wedding websites – with or without the big, plumy pen – and now the same color and creativity that goes into modern wedding invitation design is going into the wedding guest book.

 When guests arrive at the ceremony or cocktail party venue, the first thing they see on display is the guest book they’re expected to sign as a record of their presence at the wedding celebration. Here are the new trends of the guest book awaiting their signatures, the guest book that becomes such a priceless keepsake to the bride and groom:

Guest Book Colors

 Wedding guest book covers may still be selected for their traditional colors of white, ivory, or ecru, with silver or gold trim or accents including the simple embossed wording of Guest Book on the cover. Many of our New Jersey brides and grooms say they like to keep the ‘something old’ of a traditional guest book design, since so much of their wedding is non-traditional, colorful and creative. And then we see many local wedding couples choosing, or making, guest books in beautiful colors that may match or coordinate with their wedding’s signature colors. The biggest wedding color trends reflected in guest books right now are pale pink, sage green, lavender, and the bright shades of turquoise, tangerine, sunshine yellow and lipstick red. The guest book welcomes guests with their first glimpse at the shades of the wedding venue décor.

 Guest Book Cards, Papers and Stickers

 Creative brides and grooms seek out easy, money-saving wedding DIY crafts, and the make-your-own wedding guest book trend has introduced this guest-pleasing option: the guest book table welcomes guests to sign individual, unlined index cards chosen for their coordination with the wedding décor colors, inscribing their messages on, say, lavender index cards with a deep purple pen, or with a shimmering silver pen. The cards are then dropped into a silver serving bowl or glass bowl, to be assembled into a scrapbook later.

Another trend is for guests to sign individual wedding theme-shaped cards or papers, such as heart-shaped paper stock, and wedding photo booth attendants now affix on guest book pages the self-stick strips of guests’ photo booth pictures, and finally the guests sign with silver pen or colorful Sharpie on ‘their page,’ alongside their sweet or silly photo booth pictures.

 What Guests Are Writing

 In years past, wedding guests simply signed their names on a line in a basic wedding guest book, and now we’re seeing wedding guests write heartfelt messages of “Congratulations!” and “We are so happy for you! What a beautiful, perfect day!” on a half- or whole page of the guest book. Brides and grooms love having the keepsake of personal messages written in their loved ones’ handwriting, which becomes all the more special over time.

 Best,

Michael Mahle, Director of Communications, pleasantdale Château

As New Jersey’s top wedding venues, the Pleasantdale Chateau, The Manor and the Ram’s Head Inn have been home to countless wedding rehearsals, and we’ve seen the glowing bride and groom prepare for the biggest day of their lives. Who’s invited to attend this very important practice run? We have the wedding etiquette-approved list of who needs to be there…and who isn’t.

First, obviously, the bride and groom need to be present, so that they can not just learn what will happen during each section of the wedding ceremony, but so that they can co-create the personalized ceremony of their dreams. Today’s bride and groom have a voice at their wedding rehearsal, sometimes switching the order of ceremony elements, re-pairing bridesmaids and groomsmen and otherwise designing the most important part of their wedding day.

Next, the bridal party members, and their guests, are invited to the rehearsal dinner. Bridesmaids and groomsmen need to learn where they’ll wait, how they’ll walk down the aisle, what they’ll do during special moments of the ceremony, and how they’ll participate in the recessional. The maid of honor will learn when she’ll need to adjust the bride’s train, hold her flowers, and otherwise be at her service. Why the bridal party guests? According to wedding etiquette, it’s proper to invite them to the rehearsal dinner, so it just works out conveniently to let them attend the wedding rehearsal itself.

Child bridal party attendants, flower girls and ringbearers, are also invited, along with their parents, so that the little ones can practice how they’ll walk and where they’ll stand, so that they’re comfortable and confident in what’s expected of them.

The wedding planner is invited, if you’ve hired one, and may be the person in charge of instructing everyone on each element of the ceremony. The officiant and his or her guest will obviously be there as well, to guide the proceedings and to work with the bride and groom in adjusting any wording, the vows, or other special portions of the ceremony.

Musical performers may also be invited to the wedding rehearsal, although that’s not a Must. Your musicians may require that they attend the rehearsal, so that they can learn the cues of when they’re playing during each portion of the ceremony, so ask your musical experts what their rehearsal policies are, and what you may have to pay them to attend.

Ceremony participants, such as those performing readings or cultural rites, are smartly invited to the wedding rehearsal, so that they too learn when they’ll be expected to stand up and walk to the microphone, and so that they can practice speaking their material on-site.

Parents and grandparents are also invited to the rehearsal, as a special event to witness, as are additional special family members. The smaller the circle of people at the wedding rehearsal, the more efficient the practice session will be, and the sooner you can all get to your lovely rehearsal dinner.

Thank you!

Rolf Shick, Banquet Manager, The Manor

We’d like to help you avoid some of the most common wedding registry mistakes. During our decades of getting to know so many wedding couples, we’ve heard a number of them talk about their wedding gift lists, specifically the problems they’re having with them and what they’d do differently if they could register for gifts all over again.

Here are the wedding registry mistakes we hope you’ll keep at the forefront of your mind as you create your bridal registries and also as you maintain your lists now until your wedding day, and even afterward:

1. Registering for too few items. That’s right, wedding couples who don’t want to appear greedy to their friends and family limit their wedding registry lists to just a handful of items, which not only keeps them from receiving everything they’ll need to set up their home, but also leaves wedding guests without enough gift options in their budget to choose from. Don’t be shy. Sign on for lots of wedding gift possibilities, and guests will be more likely to be grateful than offended.

1. Only having one registry. With so many unique registries out there, don’t limit yourself to just one kind of wedding registry. Look into creating a honeymoon registry, charitable registry, a registry at a local sporting goods store if you like to enjoy an active, outdoor lifestyle as so many of our New Jersey couples do, a wine registry, or other type of wedding gift list.

1. Registering in a single price range. Load up your list with lots of gifts in a very affordable price range, such as under $50, and then add items in the $50 to $100 price range, some in the $100 to $200 price range, and follow the new wedding registry trend of adding a few big-ticket items that can be given to you by groups, such as your bridal party (who are each saving money by splitting the cost of a pricy gift for you! That $400 coffee maker is just $40 apiece if there are 10 bridesmaids and groomsmen giving the gift together!)

1. Not signing on for gift cards. Again, it doesn’t make you look greedy to ask for 10 $50 gift cards, 10 $100 gift cards and so on. Guests know that you’ll need to buy some household essentials after the wedding, items you didn’t get for bridal shower gifts, and gift cards let you do so without guilt.

1. Choosing the wrong delivery address. If you live in an apartment, you don’t want these valuable gifts being delivered to your entryway with no doorman able to take them in for you. It may be smarter to have all of your wedding gifts delivered to your parents’ home, where they can take them in and protect them for you.

Thanks!

Christopher Gellings, Banquet Manager, Highlawn Pavilion

After your traditional first dance as husband and wife, it’s customary for the bride and her father, or step-father, to take to the dance floor to perform their Father-Daughter Dance. During so many years as home to beautiful New Jersey weddings, we’ve seen thousands upon thousands of sentimental moments between fathers and daughters at the wedding reception, and some of their first dances took our breath away. The songs they chose were so lovely, such a heartfelt tribute to the special bond between father and daughter on the wedding day.

Since so many of our wedding couples have inspired us with their Father-Daughter dance songs, we thought we’d share some of the most memorable ones, as well as songs you may like to consider for your own father-daughter dance:

“My Girl”                                  The Temptations

“Unforgettable”                         Nat King Cole

“Wind Beneath My Wings”       Bette Midler

“My Dad”                                 Paul Petersen

“Because You Loved Me”        Celine Dion

“Isn’t She Lovely?”                    Stevie Wonder

“Have I Told You Lately”          Van Morrison

“What A Wonderful World”      Louis Armstrong

“Butterfly Kisses”                      Raybon Brothers

“And Then They Do”                Trace Adkins

“There You’ll Be”                      Faith Hill

“In My Daughter’s Eyes”           Martina McBride

“A Song For My Daughter”       Ray Allaire

“You Raise Me Up”                 Josh Groban

We’re seeing a wonderful trend in Father-Daughter dances – father and daughter are picking out Their Song together, using a song from the bride’s childhood. So in addition to the most popular songs listed above, we’re also seeing fathers and daughters dancing to unexpected songs with great memories attached, like You Are My Sunshine and My First, My Last, My Everything by Barry White – the song the father always danced with his little girl to at other weddings they’ve attended over the years.

Whatever your Father-Daughter song, consider the other new trend: brides and fathers are practicing their first dance ahead of time, perhaps even having a dance instructor choreograph it. It’s their moment in the spotlight, and they make it special.

Best,

Michael Mahle, Director of Communications, Pleasantdale Château

When the bride and groom step onto the dance floor for their first dance, the song they choose to dance to is more than just a pretty tune. It’s ‘Their Song,’ a deeply-meaningful first dance song that reflects their relationship, their joy, their new life together. First dance songs are now being chosen from a list of songs that have played a big part in the bride and groom’s love story, perhaps the first song they ever slow-danced to.

Wedding deejays and wedding bands in our North Jersey region say there is a trend toward perennial favorite first dance songs, and that many wedding couples say they’re choosing their first dance song together as a team. They’re also reporting that the couple is now choosing two special songs for their wedding reception’s spotlight dance moments: one for the First Dance and another for the bride and groom’s last spotlight wedding dance of the reception.

Here are the top First Dance Songs that you may wish to consider for your own big moment:

Amazed                                                Lonestar

At Last                                                 Etta James

Beautiful In My Eyes                             Joshua Kadison

Because You Loved Me                       Celine Dion

Breathe                                                Faith Hill

Can You Feel the Love Tonight            Elton John

Can’t Help Falling In Love                    Elvis Presley

Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You           Frankie Valli

Come Away With Me                          Norah Jones

Embraceable You                                 Nat King Cole

Everything I Do (I Do It For You)         Bryan Adams

Faithfully                                               Journey

Fly Me To The Moon                           Frank Sinatra

From This Moment                               Shania Twain

Groovy Kind of Love                           Phil Collins

Have I Told You Lately                        Rod Stewart

Here And Now                                    Luther Vandross

I Can’t Help Falling In Love                  Elvis Presley

I Could Not Ask For More                  Sara Evans

I Cross My Heart                                 George Strait

I Only Have Eyes For You                   Flamingos

I Swear                                                John Michael Montgomery

I’ll Be There                                         Michael Jackson

It Had To Be You                                Harry Connick Jr

It’s Your Love                                      Faith Hill/Tim McGraw

Just The Way You Are             Billy Joel

Someone Like You                               Van Morrison

The Best Is Yet To Come                     Frank Sinatra

The Way You Look Tonight                 Frank Sinatra

To Make You Feel My Love                Garth Brooks

True Companion                                   Marc Cohn

Unforgettable                                        Nat King Cole

Wedding Song (There is Love) Petula Clark

What A Wonderful World                    Louis Armstrong

When A Man Loves A Woman            Percy Sledge

When I Fall In Love                              Celine Dion

When I Said I Do                                 Clint Black

Wonderful Tonight                                Eric Clapton

Some songs are contemporary, some are classic, some country, but all – and so many more — are open to your consideration as the soundtrack for your lovely first dance as husband and wife.

Best,

Michael Mahle, Director of Communications, Pleasantdale Château

Smart brides and grooms avoid wedding stress and arguments by going away on a romantic pre-honeymoon. Planning a weekend getaway or just an overnight stay in a bed and breakfast allows you to step away from the whirlwind of wedding planning – particularly in those last hectic weeks before the wedding – and re-connect as a couple without spending a fortune.

You don’t have to fly away to Tahiti or St. Lucia or any other top honeymoon locale in order to take your pre-honeymoon trip. Not when our state offers so many exciting destinations at the shore points in Ocean and Cape May Counties, golf resorts and ski areas in Sussex County, and more. Our New Jersey brides and grooms say they plan their getaways for our state’s wealth of exciting and indulgent vacation spots, many of which they visit annually, or where they – or friends — might even have shore or ski houses. They’re booking weekend stays and overnighters at the following types of locales:

• Upscale casino hotels like the Water Club or the Borgata in Atlantic City, where they can enjoy spa treatments, first-class service, the thrill of gambling, and perhaps taking in a concert or comedy show.

• Quaint beach towns, such as Cape May in Ocean County or Spring Lake, where they can ride bikes, relax in the sun, go shopping, and eat at wonderful restaurants overlooking the ocean at sunset, watching the dolphins at play in the distance.

• Lovely, Victorian bed and breakfasts. They’re not just in Cape May, although you’ll find some of New Jersey’s best B&Bs there. Visit www.BnBFinder.com to locate sweet and charming bed and breakfast establishments all over New Jersey, from the northernmost, mountainous points to shore points and in suburban areas in between. Friendly innkeepers see to your needs and make you a delectable breakfast in the morning. Some of our brides and grooms stay at B&Bs during weekdays to nab great discount prices.

• Brand-name hotels. Your nearby Westin, Hilton or Ramada may offer romantic weekend packages that allow you to stay in a suite, welcomed with complimentary champagne and strawberries, and a lavish brunch the next morning. You can laze by the pool, order room service, enjoy a five-star dinner, and act like you’re on vacation even though you’re only a few miles from home.

• Ski resort areas. You might choose your favorite New Jersey ski resort town, or pack for a road trip to a notable ski resort in a neighboring state. If you decide to stay off the slopes in protection of your ankles and knees before the big day, you can enjoy the ski lodge scene, go on tours, enjoy fine dining, and soak in an outdoor hot tub as a light snow falls.

• New York City. A quick ride into the city delivers you to a cultural mecca, and you might surprise your partner with tickets to a Broadway show or a limousine ride to a notable hotspot. Stay in a fine hotel and go celebrity-spotting at the city’s best-known star hangouts, or just walk hand-in-hand through Central Park during the afternoon. The city is your pre-honeymoon playground.

Best,

Lars Johnson, General Manager, Pleasantdale Chateau

Your wedding favors make the stylish ‘last impression’ on your wedding guests, so be sure to choose lovely favors, and create a wedding favor display that’s pleasing to the eye as well. When you take time to creatively display even the most modest of favors, your efforts create an effect that makes it seem like the favors are more expensive, more upscale and more of a treat. At our New Jersey wedding venue, we’ve seen some of the loveliest wedding favor display trends:

• Place one wedding favor at each guests’ place setting, in front of their plates.

• Create a wedding favors table by your gifts table, and set on it large, elegant silver platters that hold organized, even rows of your packaged favors. We use the same presentation style for our petit fours and other small desserts, so your favor treats will share the same elegant styling.

• Accent your wedding favors table with a floral centerpiece matching those on the guest tables, or place an 8”x10” framed photo of the two of you, paired with a framed, printed thank –you note from the two of you, in the center of the table, surrounded by your favors.

• Arrange your wedding favors on three-tier serving pedestals, just like our banquet managers and pastry chefs use with our dessert offerings, for an elegant look that matches the serving-style the guests have admired all throughout your reception and dessert hour.

• You can also use these three-tier serving pedestals as favor presentations that our servers can bring to each of your guest tables, creating an upscale presentation at the end of your reception.

• Our servers can also present each table’s favors on an elevated serving platter or on a small silver platter, with the platter garnished with additional chocolates, mints, or – a favorite at our New Jersey weddings – pastel-colored Jordan almonds.

• If you’ll make a donation to charity in lieu of traditional favors, display a framed printed announcement of your charity choice, and place next to it a basket of packaged cookies, chocolates or mints for guests to enjoy as they depart.

• Arrange one of the hottest current favor presentations – the favor bar. At this long table, guests use tongs or scoops to select their own choices of chocolates, truffles, brownie bites, colorful candies or other favor choices from glass bowls and platters. They package their own edible favor choices in either clear Lucite boxes or cellophane bags that they can tie with a ribbon. You can serve just truffles, or you can mix up your favor bar offerings to include bite-sized brownies, fudge squares, petit fours and an array of dessert indulgences.

Edible favors are the top choice at our Southern New Jersey wedding venue, but we’re also seeing single long-stemmed roses packaged in cellophane and ribbon, displayed in a tall, beautiful vase, ready for guests to choose their own take-home wedding flower.

All the best,

Caitlyn Bradley, Director of Private Dining, Ram’s Head Inn

We’re so happy to see the return of one-time-use wedding cameras set on our wedding reception room guest tables here at the Ram’s Head Inn in Galloway, New Jersey. For a time, they disappeared as brides and grooms sought to shave expenses from their wedding budget, but now wedding couples welcome them back into their tabletop design, offering their guests the fun of using them.

Here are the top reasons why wedding cameras are back:

• They’re prettier than ever. At www.Kodak.com, you’ll see pretty red floral, blue floral, and purple floral one-time-use cameras, in addition to traditional ‘bridal white’ cameras. And you’ll also see cameras in solid colors coordinating with the top wedding colors of the season: orange, yellow, blue, red, even black and white for themed weddings.

• They’re now made with top film quality. With 800-speed film, photos taken with these cameras can capture a priceless wedding moment in quality resolution.

• They keep kids occupied. Many of our New Jersey wedding couples say this is their top reason – that the one-time-use cameras on every table get the kids playing, happily occupied, laughing, taking photos on the dance floor, and –simply put – not prone to behavior problems they’d have if play wasn’t an element of your reception.

• They capture the moments you miss. While you’re out in the wedding gardens having your portraits taken, guests use these cameras to capture wonderful moments between relatives, such as great-grandma meeting a guest’s baby for the first time, or the bride’s parents showing off their skills on the dance floor.

• Guests are told they’ll get to see and perhaps buy the photos. When you place a printed note with each one-time-use wedding camera, you let guests know that the photos they take will be included on a photo-share website for them to view and purchase. Guests then tend to take greater care with the pictures they take, and it works out wonderfully for everyone.

• Extra wedding cameras let you capture the after-party. When all of the cameras are gathered up at the end of the reception, you can take the ones that still have shots left on them to your after-party to capture memorable moments with your friends long after your wedding photographer has left.

• Panoramic one-time-use cameras let you snap your own wide-angle photos of our beautiful wedding gardens and grounds, as well as all of your friends and family celebrating your special day.

All the best,

Caitlyn Bradley, Director of Private Dining, Ram’s Head Inn